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Coming up:

Office Complaints

Stelios would like to meet with the post-grads about our offices, to hear all the complaints, and give some feedback regarding the many outstanding issues we have, such as air-conditioning and security.
Meeting with Stelios
11:30am, Thursday 25th May
Common Room
This will immediately be followed by the Indoor soccer finals, in which MEGA is competing. See here.


(18/5/06) Mamibarim Strikes!

With the top of the table clash, this was always going to be heated. Mamibarim took a 2-0 lead early in the first half, and held them off for a 2-1 win! Thanks go to Kumi, for once again frustrating the oposition into wanting a fight! :D

(26/4/06) New Committee & Life Member

A new era has begun, with a new president of MEGA, in Joe Berry. Already he is quoted as saying he intends "to beat every record on the Honour Boards". Fantastic!

Speaking of which, The Honour boards welcomes Jonathan "Jonno" Dusting to the Honorary Life Members for his contribution of 742 continuous days of service to the club and the life of us fellow post-graduate students. Congratulations Jon.

We also welcome the addition of two new members to the Jonno lead "Sprint Committee". They are Mehdi Nazarinia as the new Sprint Social Secretary, and Joe Berry as the new Sprint Vice-President (70 days makes a mockery of the Sprint Committee). This has also confirmed Joe as now the most inexperienced president MEGA has known; Two consecutive presidents topping this table? This has disaster written all over it...


Not a MEGA member.
They're back! $15 each. We're making nothing on this! It seems as though the new committee is determined to take on a financial risk "for the benefit of the whole community".
Good quality, good design, and made entirely in Australia by Bluegum (though not sure about the paint).
See any committee member to buy one.

Honour Boards

Indoor Soccer

Fixture 2006

Qualifying Final
Rematch! We play FC Sala to claim the 8th Quater-Final spot! This is going to be a HUGE grudge match. (And Clement needs 6 goals to deny Andy another golden-boot!)
Kick off at 1:35pm, Rec Hall - the one with the curtain.

Half-time score :
Full time score :


[ 0 - 7 ]

[ 5 - 1 - 1]
Week Round Game Time/
Game Time/
3 1 * BYE * v MCG Blues
[ W 5 - 4 ]
4 2 v Team Nandeskar
[ L 0 - 3 ]
v Zibs Utd
[ D 2 - 2 ]
5 3 v MCG Reds
[ L 1 - 3 ]
v MC-11
[ W 2 - 1 ]
6 4 * BYE * * BYE *
7 5 v Darkness!
[ L 0 - 3 ]
v Five Ace’z
[ W 4 - 2 ]
Semester Break
8 6 v Try Beat Us
[ L 0 - 4 ]
v FC Sala
9 7 v Kung Pow Chicken United
[ L 1 - 4 ]
v Tukupai
[ L 2 - 3 ]
10 8 v Akatsuki FC
[ L 3 - 4 ]
v The Inedibles
[ W 5 - 1 ]
11 9 v 2nd Last
[ L 1 - 3 ]
v FC Sala
[ W 2 - 1 ]
25/6 Qual v FC Sala 1:35pm
26/7 QF

Round 9
Bad loss. Full time score : 1-3.
Brilliant! Bloody Brilliant! Focussing on a strong defence, a back-three line held strong all game, frustrating the top-of-the-table team into a dog-fight: Jumper pulling, tackle-from-behind, and hip-and-shoulder were not on the ref's focus today, choosing to ignor them all!
Luckily we beat them!
They had a shit goalie, who allowed the second goal to slide under his legs. One mix up in defence on a substitution saw Joe trying to play on the right, resulting in a goal up the middle. But that was the end of the trouble, with Kumi letting his giant kicks do the talking, and managed to hold his ground with some pretty physical bastards.
Half-time score : 2-1
Full time score : 2-1

Round 8
Karlis refused to play, so Jens was in goal, and promptly gave the opposition a 0-4 lead at half time (including a few penalties for stepping out of the box...). But then became the "Danish Wall", and gave the Eegija every opportunity to win, which almost happened. Ahwell! Full time score : 3-4.
(Goals: 2-MK,CR)
1-1 at half time turned into a cake-walk after Andy calmed everyone down, and the defence played proper defence. Our first comfortable win! Full time score : 5-1

Round 7
A thrilling first half gave us all hope, when Clement put away a lovely cross for a 1-0 lead. This was lost close to the end of the first half when a minor mix up in defence allowed a runner through the center to put one under Karlis' feet for the equaliser. The second half look promising until a 2-1 lead resulted in a possesion game by the Kung Pow Chicken. What was most dissapointing was that when we were able to show that they didn't have a defence, we weren't able to have an offence, with all 3 of our good shots on goal going wide of the posts. And the goalie needs to learn to block the shots under his legs.
Full time score : 1-4.
(Goals: CR)
A sever case of looking at the ladder before playing. We finished the game with our two defenders sitting on the bench, and expected our 4 strikers to hold the fort. Let us just remember the time we were 2-1 up.
There will be no more discussion about this game.
Full time score : 2-3

Round 6
When engineers come up against the Monash Soccer Club in an Indoor tournament, the result was never going to be in doubt. There should be a rule against this. At least Kumi was able to pick a fight with the President of the Monash (Outdoor) Soccer Club!
Full time score : 0-4.
(Goals: None)
This game was rescheduled due to lack of referees. So we played amongst ourselves for 2 hours untill Karlis scored his first goal.

Round 5
Full time score : 0-3.
(Goals: None)
Full time score : 4-2.
(Goals: AC-3(1-P),??)

Round 3
Not even a second half substitution of leading goal scorer Tom Mitrevski could get the goals the Eegija needed. An early missed penalty by Min, a half-meter wide miss by Tom, a ball that bounced along the goal line could have made the difference in this 1-3 loss.
Jon Dusting Reports on...
This week the MEGA team went down again, as they inexplicably lost the ability to trap the ball. The final scoreline was 3 -1 to the opposition, despite them being a man down after "Maldini" was sent off following an unruly slide tackle. Well done to Min, the lone goalscorer, as well as the Euro academics who made their debut (with or without glass lenses across their face). Karlis did well throwing the ball, and for a while it looked like his lobs were our only chance of scoring. It would help if players tried to trap the ball when he throws it at them. It is also clear that our team is suffering from a lack of uniform and a coach to swear at them from the sidelines. Incidently, I nominate myself to be that swearing coach.
Half time score : 0 - 2.
Full time score : 1 - 3.
(Goals: ML)
Peppering the goals in the first half. Plenty of frees given to Mamibarim, due to the inexperience of the other team, but the ref was inexperienced himself, not paying them all, and allowing a re-kicked penalty which should have been denied. A mistake by the fill-in goalie Clement resulted in the first goal against. But this was brought back with a wonderfully selfless act by Tom, effectively handing over the lead in the Golden Boot, by rolling an indirect free kick for Andy to spike home. This was soon followed with a spectacular lone play goal from Andy off a Karlis long pass. This opposition was a very bad team, and the Mamibarim will need to clean up their act if they are to progress further in this tournament.

Round 2
1st Half: Shots: Mehdi, Min(on target). Score: 0 - 2
2nd Half: Shots: Min, Andy, Andy, Justin, Andy, Min (disallowed goal), Andy, Andy. Score: 0 - 3
(Goals: None)
1st Half: Shots: Goals: MK. Score 1-2
2nd Half: Shots: Andy(missed P). Goals: TM. Score 2-2

Round 1-MCG Blues
1st Half: Starting Clement, Justin, Krishna, Andy, Karlis.
-Scramble - J near own goal - C across, J cannot reach - K saves from speculative shot, J<->T - Kr shot from mid (miss) - Kr shot from outside (saved) - K to Kr, missed pass - A to C, scuffed shot (miss) - T wins ball and scores! (1-0) - Kumi shoots into side (miss) - Direct free-kick, T hard but wide left (miss).
Score: 1-0
2nd Half: Karlis, Justin, Krishna, Kumi, Clement
-Ku wide right shot (miss) - Ku counters, M shoots (miss) - J scores, inside box (not counted) - J<->A - K miss save, inside box shot (no score) - C shoots, saved - K good save from miss shot - Penalty, defender in box trying to block T shot. A takes it, scores (2-0) - Foul on Kr - Kr tackled, gets ball, shot in off right upright (3-0) - Kr<->G - K concedes (3-1) - K to A, long ball to C, to T scores instant reply (4-1) - Ku<->C - loose ball in back, K concedes (4-2) - Penalty, goalie out of box. A takes it, scores (5-2) - K concedes (5-3) - (5-4) defence in tatters, and running lost - K falls out of box, no time left.
Score: 5-4
(Goals: TM-2,AC-2P,MK-1)

Golden Boot

Past Seasons

Season Team Golden Boot
2006-I Mamibarim
2005-II The Always Ons Mukunthun Krishnapillai
2005-I Washing Day Pants Andy Chan
2004-II Sea Beavers
Steve The Kebab Man
Andy Chan
2004-II Turkeys
Next Size Up
Tom Mitrevski
Justin Leontini

Anyone can play, so long as you're a MEGArian (friend or member) and can run up and down a basket-ball court without tripping over yourself.
French Import Clement captains "Mamibarim" - Iranian/Persian for "We’re gonna win!"
Iranian Import Mehdi captains "Eegija" - Korean for "We’re gonna win!"


(4/1/06) Science Prostituted

Balony Detection Kit.

It’s time to bring some education to this club, and it starts with the most funamental tools in analysing the balony that some people spout as par for course. Each week, I will attempt to bring you an example, to help clarify Carl Sagan’s Baloney Detection Kit.
(Taken without permission from his great book "The Demon-Haunted World - Science as a Candle In The Dark" published by Headline Book Publishing.)

Carl Sagan: My Example:
"Many good examples (of fallacies of logic and rhetoric) can be foundin religion and politics, because their practitioners are so often obliged to justify two contradictory propositions. Among these fallacies are: I will try to find examples that are directly relevant to today’s circumstances
- Ad hominem - Latin for ‘to the man’, attacking the arguer and not the argument (e.g., the Reverend Dr Smith is a known Biblical fundamentalist, so her objections to evolution need not be taken seriously).
Alexander Downer - Countless times. Can anyone find one?
- Argument from Authority - (e.g., President Richard Nixon should be re-elected because he has a secret plan to end the war in Southeast Asia - but because it was secret, there was no way for the electorate to eveluate it on its merits; the argument amounted to trusting him because he was President: a mistake, as it turned out). John Howard - "I'm not critical of the language he (Peter Costello) used in any way and the thrust of what he said, I think you'll appreciate, is very similar to remarks that I have made over a long period of time."
- Argument from adverse consequences (e.g., a God meting out punishment and reward must exist, because if He didn't, society would be much more lawless and dangerous - perhaps even ungovernable. Or:the defendant in a widely publicized murder trial must be found fuilty; otherwise, it will be an encouragement for other men to murder their wives). Singaporean Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong - "We also think that drug trafficking is a crime that deserves the death penalty. The evil inflicted on thousands of people with drug trafficking demands that we must tackle the source by punishing the traffickers rather than trying to pick up the pieces afterwards,"
- Appeal to ignorance - the claim that whatever has not been proved false must be true, and vice versa (e.g., there is no compelling evidence that UFOs are not visiting earth; therefore UFOs exist - and there is intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe. Or: there may be seventy kazillion other worlds, but not one is known to have the moral advancement of the Earth, so we’re still central to the Universe). This impatience with ambiguity can be criticized in the phrase: absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
- Special pleading, often to rescue a proposition in deep ehetorical trouble (e.g., how can a merciful God condemn future generations to unending torment because, against orfers, one woman induced one man to eat an apple? Special plead: you don't understand the subtle Doctrine of Free Will. Or: how can there be an equally godlike Father, Son and Holy Ghost in the same Person? Special plead: you don't understand the Divine Mystery of the Trinity. Or: how could God permit the followers of Judaism, Christianity and Islam - each in their own way enjoined to heroic measures of loving kindeness and compassion - to have perpetrated so much cruelty for so long? Special plead: you don't understand Free Will again. And anyway, God moves in mysterious ways)
- Straw man - caricaturing a position to make it easier to attack (e.g., Scientists suppose that living things simply fell together by chance - a formulation that wilfully ignores the central Darwinian insight, that Nature ratchets up by saving what works and discarding what doesn’t. Or - this is also a short-term/long-term fallacy - environmentalists care more for snail darters and spotted owls than they do for people). Philip Ruddock - "If somebody wants to tell me in opposing these measures that they are in favour of people being able to urge the use of force or violence to overthrow democratic institutions, let me hear from them,"


With the new office layout, most of us have found that there is now no possibility of viewing our monitors without someone looking over our shoulder. But for those lucky few that can, this wallpaper will keep you in line. Maybe not in the same big-brother way, but in the more pro-active, and grown-up manner, namely, the You're-old-enough-to-look-after-your-own-research-time stance.
Happy wallpapering!

mega @ monash | ~/eng/mech >> $
mega @ monash | ~/eng/mech >> $ whatis mega

MEGA was formed to organise social events for post-graduate mechanical engineers (and their BETter halves) such as beer nights, pub nights, bbq’s and other strenuous activities (Movie nights, and daytime activities). Please be aware, that MEGA also ensures that where you see the word "beer", you can feel free to substitute with "soft-drinks", or "water;", or if you’re a pseudo-upper-class MCC member, "wine". MEGA even tries to cater for the individual eating habits of Aran. And we don’t even LIKE bubble‘n’squeek.
On the day to day side, MEGA also provides a forum for post graduate mechies to discuss and raise concerns and issues relating to post-graduate life with each other, and provide an official channel/body/representative to speak to the department .

mega @ monash | ~/eng/mech >> $ _

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What’s New?

(17/5/06) Wiki MEGA!

Mega now has an entry in Wikipedia and has now started up its own wiki website.
Just go to http://mega.xwiki.com/ and there you will be able to provide valuable information to your fellow post-grads.

See any committee member for the password (login at the top-right of the page, then you get the "edit" options)

(10/5/0) BBQ Snaps

I think it's just about ready to flip!
MEGA's Inaugural Pancake BBQ went off with a sizzle. The goo flowed, the ice-cream melted, the beer was dranked, and a variety of cooks lent their assistance to the flipping.
(Credit here must go to Bronwyn for starting the whole show, Pat for finishing it, Esfandyar in the middle as well as some others). Click here for all the action.
The rest of the mix needs to be finished in the next 3 days. First-come-first-served, as there's only one bottle of goo left. This event will also be free of charge.

Features Features Features.

Justin has provided the MEGA website with an appropriately vicious rant from the ex-president’s pedestool., but first a word from your new president:


I have a vision.
A vision of the perfect working environment.
A working environment with office partitions that are not garish orange, but a tasteful cream, or grey, or any of a thousand other more suitable colours. A working environment where filing cabinets and drawers can peacefully exist side-by-side without prejudice. A working environment where access to the office is not arbitrarily removed, for months on end, with no warning or explanation. A working environment with climate control that maintains a comfortable temperature all year round. And above all, a working environment where people do not have to be subjected to a strip show every time Karlis gets changed for soccer.

Whilst not all of the above issues can be fixed (until Karlis graduates anyway), the new MEGA committee will endeavour to improve the working environment for all our members; whether it be office related, or tutoring related, or anything else. If you have a suggestion or need an issue addressed feel free to approach me or any of the other committee members. The new MEGA committee has also made a conscious decision to spend more money on the members, so ideas for social events are very welcome.

In response to the rant posted on the website by a former president (who shall remain nameless), I shall do no more than to quote from our learned friend’s president’s address: "previous criticism from the old leadership has, as I’m sure your [sic] all incredibly relieved, been well and truly quashed, and the criticisers shown to be the frauds we all knew they were". Wise words indeed! (If you ignore the grammatical error)

El Presidente VI

By Justin Leontini

Dear fellow Megarians,

With the recent departure of our resident ranting idealist, Jon Dusting, I feel it is time that someone contributed something suitably passionate and vehement to this website. As I'm sure you all know (and care about immensely), I am in the later portion of my candidature here, and I thought it may be of value to voice my opinion on the progress and evolution of the great luminary institution that is MEGA over the last couple of years.

Well, personally, I think that the committee needs to have a good hard look at itself, before we lose all relevance in post-gradding affairs. I mean, would the revolutionaries of Fouras, Swalwell, and Dusting be happy with the current state of things? The answer is clearly no! What is our namby-pamby committee doing? Taking credit for BBQs that took a year to start on time, while turning MEGA into a toothless tiger, that's what.

Remember when MEGA committees took a stand on a position, no matter who ill-conceived and radical that position was? The days of strike organisation (that's right, post-grads once threatened the department with not tutoring until we got some real support), literal diplomatic missions with the HOD, and minutes that referenced everything except the important stuff.

While I was absent (doing, I assure you, critical fluid dynamics research in Byron Bay), a meeting was held with the HOD. But was a voice raised, was one dissenting opinion put forth that couldn't be supported? No, everyone shut their traps. No mention of an office where the air-conditioning doesn't work after a year, of swipe access doors that suddenly lock people out, or of having to work in an office with 35 freakin' other people! Hey, I like you all, but do we really have to see each other ALL the time?

The point is, that while the is naught we can do to fix anything, we should be complaining. A lot. The department needs to be reminded that we thought the idea of open-plan offices was stupid in the first place, and we still think it's stupid. Open-plan. "But that's what the do in industry" says the department. Well if I wanted to work in industry, why would I be doing a PhD? No, I would have gone to work at Holden like all my undergrad mates, who now have cars, new clothes, food EVERYDAY...

So, to the new MEGA committee, I issue a challenge. Move MEGA back to a position of relevance, namely a combined whinging voice of postgrads to the department. Draw inspiration from the glory days under the rule of Fouras, Dusting or my own humble, but esteemed, leadership. Don't take the "there's nothing we can do" attitude of some previous committees.

Oh yeah, and let's SPEND SOME CASH ON SOMETHING FUN! We don't need such a surplus, and in the words of the humble Webmaster, Karlis, "We're a non-profit organisation ... aren't we?". Organise something that makes the postgrads realise why they should bother caring that MEGA exists.



(20/4/06) Jonno's Last Kebab Run

It was all-in (minus a few pikers, plus a few old-flames) for this last opportunity to savour the garlic+tchatcik+bbq+chilli-mixed-kebabs with Jonno. And it's all documented!
Click here for all the action.

Jonno Contemplating the last time
Movie stills might follow, otherwise see Karlis.

Feature Article
Balony Detection Kit

I couldn't wait: The Prime-Minister gave me this one today:

"I'm not critical of the language he (Peter Costello) used in any way and the thrust of what he said, I think you'll appreciate, is very similar to remarks that I have made over a long period of time."
(click this quote for the full transcript bleh!)

I can’t believe people still listen to what this little man has to say! Anyway, it’s the old trick of:
Argument from Authority - (e.g., President Richard Nixon should be re-elected because he has a secret plan to end the war in Southeast Asia - but because it was secret, there was no way for the electorate to eveluate it on its merits; the argument amounted to trusting him because he was President: a mistake, as it turned out).

(Taken without permission from his great book "The Demon-Haunted World - Science as a Candle In The Dark" published by Headline Book Publishing.)
For more tools in the kit, go to the Feature section.

(9/2/06) Demonstrating 2006

The circus is back in town, and looks like we’ll have the same standards of pay:
"The allowance for preparation time this year is under discussion - Demonstrators will be informed once this is finalized...Thanks, HELEN"
Thanks Indeed.

For those of you worried about the ridiculous request for a CV, here follows a sample CV. Feel free to cut and paste.

Name: Karlis
Preferred Name: Karlis
Contact Details: Ext.51573
Current Occupation: Student
Work Experience: Mech Eng, Monash Clayton
Referees: Prof. Kerry Hourigan
Mech. Eng
Helen Frost
Mech. Eng Office

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Events Been 2005 or "What you missed"

(12/4/06) Stash In Mo-Nash

With demonstrating rates still not sorted, and the discovery of an extra $1000 per student for travel grants that needs to be clarified, MEGA is getting ready to meet the head of the department, John Sheridan.
This is going to be one helluva fight!

(5/4/06) International Food Day

It was more of a success than the committee anticipated, and this was not more evident by the underproducing of the number of labels required for each of the quisines presented. Dishes were presented from : Australia, Bangladesh, France, Indonesia, Iran, Korea, Latvia, Malaysia, Poland and Thailand.
Unfortunately the webmaster forgot to take a camera.

(10/3/06) - BBQ

It’s another BBQ
It was a very successful bbq, with many snags, and many drinks. Only time will tell if there are any photos of this remarkably successful day.

(06) - MEGA AGM

Finally it happened: A genuine choice for a committee position! It was Mehdi who beat out Esfandya in the race for Social secretary. Of course, either way we were guaranteed some fine new exotic foods at the next bbq!

The old committee said goodbye, and thanks, to Secretary Gaurav, Vice-President Alan, and Social Secretary Ania, and gave a rousing hello to new Vice President Joe Berry, Social Secretary Mehdi Narzarinia, and Secretary Hyeok Lee.

For full listing of committee positions, go here.

(24/1/06) Welcome Back BBQ

Welcome back to the year, not that any of us really left. (We all know that our most productive time is when the undergrads don’t fill the car-parks, and the air-con is kept on 24hrs a day, along with the lights: yes, the lights are on even at 3am. Stelios, they NEVER switch off.)
A New Cook - In training for Owen's old job?
There was a wonderful change in the beer brand, and there were hashbrowns, as well as the discarded red-wine from the department.
(Now we know why they discarded it.)
See all the pics here.

(05) Deparmental Lunceon

Karlis’ 95 Shiraz It was a famous victory for the post-grads, after having to put up with a lot of rubbish, with post-grads snapping up 4 out of the 16 bottles of wine from the department’s cellars (read here "Under Sheridan’s desk")
Then the coup came when 3 extra bottles were donated to MEGA, mostly out of pity for our plight: We thank you for that, Stelios, and remind you about the solution to the air-con problem(read about it in "News").
Shiraz Karmali received the award for Excellence in 1995
Well done to Karlis, Min, Tai and Alan.
Post Script: Karlis thanks Michelle for drawing his B22 in the first go.

Archives of 2005 can be found here.

Archives of 2004 can be found here.

Archives of 2003 can be found here.

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1. "Kevin" is any deity you choose to worship.
* Non-existant.
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******* Please feel free to actively participate in adding material to this site that you think would be worth while for MEGA members to know about, such as reviews of events, and important seminars etc. This disk space is far from full!**********

Copyright 2006. Last modified by Webmaster Karlis